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Don Armour

The BullsHit

I see that the rubble from the Bulls Hit stands in a heap in the corner.

Today's poser then, "Man, the Bullshit piled up so high, you needed wings to stay above it", who and what film?
Don Armour

To date, 26 views of this post and NO replies, oh my Sad  Sad  Sad
Jack Edwards

Sorry Don,I was so shocked by the sudden change in the Forum,that I had to lie down in a darkened room with Captain Morgan! I know Dah doesn't dabble in here so I can safely say,what the hell is a Hostilery. Bit posh for us ruffians. What about a hostelry or just a tavern?  We may have some 'hostiles'' amongst our members though!  Great news about the Reunion,I was starting to think we would have to had it in the T.K. on the Prom. We could have had a few 'Directors ales' and a sing song between us,Don.  Now come along Alan either a posting or an excuse!!!TTFN Jack.
Don Armour

I assume that a HOSTILEry is an establishment where the natives are HOSTILE, that surely can't be us!!
Jack Edwards

Don,Iv'e noticed that Alan's output of jokes etc has dried up over the last few days.  I hope he's O.K. and sends in a sick note if he isn't. What wonderful films of steam rains on BBC. TTFN Jack.
Don Armour

He's probably too busy sunning himself!!

Ah me, still no replies to my poser in the first post on this reopened thread.

Is it my turn to inwardly seethe? I was HOPING that some of our spectators might have taken up the challenge and astounded us all with their insight and cultural awareness (dream on!!)

Note the split infinitive "to inwardly seethe"
Jack Edwards

Seethe no more Don,I didn't reply to your poser as I thought it might put some of our gongoozlers off replying! Faint hope! The answer of course is Captain Benjamin L.Willard in the film Apocalypse Now. Did you notice my Freudean slip in my previous message?  Re your last,  if I knew what a split infinitive was I would have noted it!  Sorry my education was sadly neglected partly due to WW2 or was it the Boer War? I hope we are not misjudging dear old Alan. But I know he will forgive us if we are! Or will he? TTFN Jack.
Don Armour

Quite correct Jack, played by the (then) excellent Martin Sheen in one of my favourite films.

I did notice your Freudian slip but I was far too polite to point it out, I chose instead to assume that the weather in your part of the world was different from the wilds of Wiltshire, whatever else the rain here did, it certainly did not steam.

I have explained "split infinitive" before but I shall not bore you, nor our thousands of avid readers, with a further explanation.

Well, at 11:30 today, the ensign was lowered for the last time at Royal Air Force Lyneham, it was a fairly simple ceremony, ending with the ensign and the unit commander's pennant being marched out through the main gate, ending 72 years of RAF occupancy.

From a maintenance unit in 1940, through a ferry base for spitfires being delivered to frontline squadrons, then a flying training establishment and finally a Transport Command station, home to the Comet, Britannia and Hercules.

I can't remember if they had the Argosy (the whistling wheelbarrow) or Beverley here but no matter, it's ALL gone now.
Jack Edwards

IMPORTANT MESSAGE to all gongoozelers ie those who only look and do not join in! Alan our dear friend from far away Peru is has been very ill in intensive care in hospital. He is now at home but still very weak. I have spoken to him by telephone and given him the best wishes of Don and Dah. If anyone would like to add their best wishes  now is the time here on on this Forum.  TTFN Jack.
Jack Edwards

Delighted to hear that at long last the 'Arctic Convoy Medal' is to be issued to the heroic men who took part in one of the most hazardous events of WW2. The hardships endured by these men were terrible. Also Don,great to see the men of Bomber Command are to receive 'clasp' to their medals. A bit of sense from the 'Madhouse' at last! I joined my first ship in Liverpool in 1943,the good ship Empire Rosalind. She was being fitted with extra radiators and thick insulation around the cabins. Arctic type clothing was being stowed aboard. No prizes for guessing our destination. We set sail in convoy for the MEDITERRANEAN! Phew!
Jack Edwards

The staff at the Tavern wish all ex-students and friends a very happy Christmas and a Happy New Year. Alan,if you are back in front of your P.C. We hope you are continuing to get better. We are missing you amigo. Come back quickly we need you! Jack.
Don Armour

I second that Alan and season's greetings to all our readers, have a good one.
Jack Edwards

Studying the Forum and cogitating as one does,I wondered what the casual surfer chancing upon this site would think. Would they think that a terrible plague had beset the members? Or could it be natural wastage had caught up with the old morse code key fiddlers? Anyway enough of that. 'Accidentally' lighting on the Facebook Site, I noted that Dah had served in Botswana,Pakistan,Thailand and Iraq! What a coincidence that after he left those peace loving countries they immediately  became war zones! You will recall how quiet the Reunion was last year. I rest my case. I hope Alan will be back with us soon. TTFN Jack.
Don Armour


I think the plague that has beset our distressed former colleagues is that they have been stricken mute!!

Incidentally, some stats with respect to the Hostilery:

The BullsHit:245 views, 13 replies (guess which two member have been monopolising the thread - Alan is excused on medical grounds)!

Dah's Christmas Message: 102 views, 2 replies (one from Dah and one from me)!

Go figure, as our American cousins might say.

Well, as far as the "Jonah Syndrome" is concerned, I can't crow about it.

I (obviously) attended The Wireless College - two years later, it's torn down.

I served as a RO on deep sea trawlers - a couple of years later the industry imploded.

I served for 20 years in the Nimrod fleet - SCRAPPED.

I spent my most recent years (20 of them) at RAF Lyneham - CLOSED, and now, the Hercules fleet itself, together with my current employment is under sentence of death.

Hmm, makes you think doesn't it?

Or maybe it's like the tale of the guy who was cursed by a witch who said he would die - sure enough, 60 years later, he died!

In other words, INEVITABILITY, pure and simple.
Jack Edwards

Distressed members you say Don. Well in the old days and maybe now as well,when a  poor sailor fell foul of the law or dire plagues etc and had to leave his ship,the British Consul would advance him cash to get home. In his discharge book would appear in the reason for terminating his voyage D.B.S. or distressed British seaman. Perhaps we could start a fund for our distressed mates. Tuition could be arranged for installing espirit de corps among them ie enthusiasm,devotion and strong regard for the honour of the Group. Tuition in posting messages and best of all free supplies of Phyllosan. TTFN Jack.
Don Armour

Oh well, I think I shall spend New Years Eve in a darkened room with a pint of draught Wincarnis.

Happy New Year to all.
Jack Edwards

Thanks Don and a Happy New Year to Alan and you and any other stray surfers who may happen to tune in. Alan and I will be having double doses of Pyllosan!!!Work it out! Don't drink too much director's,TTFN Jack.
Jack Edwards

I spoke to Alan Smith,yesterday,from his home in Peru. He is slowly regaining his strength. He wishes a Happy New Year to all members. TTFN Jack.
Don Armour

Good to hear, my best wishes for his continued recovery.
dahdedah

Point taken

Jack,
I take your point. I am gone for just a few weeks and see what happens  - they just could'nt hold it together without me!

Mind you I was also in Accra, Zaire, Malta, Durban. I also managed to do a better job of escaping from Napolean's Island of St Helena than he did!
Jack Edwards

Blimey! I,m suitably impressed. You must have had a tent,you can't have been in any place long enough for anything else. I expect to see you under canvas in the Dingle or on Colwyn Bay Beach soon! TTFN Jack. P.S. Carry on camping!
Jack Edwards

Well blow me down,shipmates don't miss Charlotte Honeychurch's new posting on 'Hello Boys' Now come on 1960'ers you can't resist replying can you?  Oh well,please yourselves! Dah,my apologies,I completely missed your Christmas message due to the technicalities of the new system! TTFN Jack.
alan of peru

My best day so far chaps. Managed to shave myself,clean my teeth and generally refresh my smelly self !
going to lunch on LOMO good quality beef,mash and peas which means that my appetite is returning.
May I wish all of you a rather late happy new year.
My next colonoscopy has been deferred for six more weeks, apparently the  !clinic think I am not yet strong enough which is rubbish but a welcome respite.
enough of me, what is going on ? I notice that Jack and Alan,s tavern has been demolished to make way for a more sophisticated hostelry,hope it attracts some of the "smart" set !!!!!who can post in the "Queen's" english. not that the prior imbibers could not when sober !
Jack Edwards

Feeling down in the dumps,Liverpool just lost to of all teams Man,United,when, WOW,our Alan returns,saved my day O.M. Great news,take care TTFNJack.
Don Armour

Yes, welcome back Alan, it's good to know that you're improving.

Like Jack, I was having a couple of minor problems with the new construction Tavern, specifically, it no longer reminded me when a new message was posted - I've sorted that out now, so business as usual (I hope).

I say chaps, Jack calling me a cad? What next, rapscallion? Scoundrel? Blackguard? MOUNTEBANK, even?

Oh, OK, it's a fair cop Guv, you got me bang to rights. (Twirls moustache, laughs evilly and disappears off to find a convenient railway line).
Jack Edwards

Don,was my Good Ship Yakki etc correct? Mates I've been thinking(I heard that too Don!) I'm not too happy with this Hostilery stuff. I miss the feel of the good old Tavern with visions of pirates with parrots on their shoulders,eye patches etc and busty barmaids dishing out Captain Morgan rum. The mob singing the old sea shanties. O.K. I'm balmy or barmy whichever you prefer. What think you,you two stalwarts of the Spanish Main? If we say Tavern would it be possible to turn back the clock? TTFN Jack.
Don Armour

Yes Jack, of course you were right in your answer.

I have no strong feelings about the name, it's the company that counts, mind you, piracy is a pretty hostile activity (so Hostilery is not a wholly inappropriate name, besides, we seem to have alienated most of the population anyway - they never visit, they never phone!) and the smuggling of parrots is prohibited too.

As for busty barmaids and Captain Morgan Rum, well, OK I've put on a little weight in my later years but I would hardly describe myself as busty and my preference is for a decent malt these days, seeing as I can no longer get Four Bells Rum nor the PROPER Navy Neaters (as opposed to the stuff that passes itself off under that name).

Never mind, we may quaff an ale or two over the Reunion weekend and do what all Ancient Mariners do, lament for days past and bemoan the fate of the albatross.
Jack Edwards

Well Alan,Amigo,it's up to you,there's one vote for Tavern,none for Hostilery and one 'don't care' I don't want to influence you of course,but it would be a RUM do if you chose Hostilery. Mates,do you think some of our ex contributors feel a twinge of guilt about deserting us? Or do they 'don't give a damn?' Where have I heard that before?TTFN Jack.
Jack Edwards

Sorry Don,just seen your answer to my solving of your poser. I should have gone to Specsavers! TTFN Jack.
Don Armour

I would, likewise, not wish to influence you Alan, even towards indifference, all I will say is:

"What's in a name? that which we call a rose
†By any other name would smell as sweet;"

Wise words from guess who?...
Jack Edwards

The immortal words of our Will are they not from Romeo and Juliet/ He could write a bit couldn't he? 'But,soft!,what light through yonder window breaks'.  Alan pay no attention to blandishments from airmen bearing gifts! Hostliery indeed? No place for honest seafarers to partake of their drinks. Don,I did see that Malta programme. I was amazed at the incompetence of the commanders! TTFN Tavern rules O.K? Jack.
Don Armour

They are indeed the words of the Immortal Bard, Romeo and Juliet, Act 2 Scene 2 which begins, (almost - it's the second line) as you so rightly say, "But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks".

Yes, once again, the arrogance ans incompetence of the commanders in that programme on Malta was absolutely staggering and, once again good people died needlessly.

Later on they had Bristol Beaufighters, which my father served on, (as a Navigator/Wireless Op/Air Gunner) if they'd have deployed them earlier the story might have been somewhat different, they packed quite a punch, armed with 4 x 20mm cannons and 6 x .303 machine guns, twin engined with a top speed of about 300mph at around 15,000 ft.
Jack Edwards

Good programme tonight on BBC4,Don,on model railways. A weakness of mine but I never really had a big layout.,just the old circle of rails. TTFN Jack.
Don Armour

Model railways have never been a passion of mine, instead, I watched part 4 of David Attenborough's series on Africa, absolutely wonderful, fascinating subject matter and the photography is simply STUNNING.

It's yet another triumph for the BBC's Natural History Unit and I'm sure that like many of its previous programmes, the Unit will be in line for another award.

I cannot speak highly enough of the work of this unit, you can watch the current series on the BBC iPlayer website if you have a mind to, well worth watching.
Jack Edwards

Don,just finished watching that video on Russian ship based aircraft. How do they compare with our and the Americans gear? Any of this action similar to your service? TTFN Jack.
Don Armour

I have no specific knowledge of the relative capabilities, however, we tended to assume that the Sovs had less sophisticated equipment, something they made up for with significant numbers of troops, vessels, vehicles and aircraft.

Of course, the advantages of relatively low tech are cheapness of production, ease of maintenance and often robustness, a classic example is the AK47 and its derivatives, it was designed to be very simple and to be Russian conscript-proof.

It was said that Soviet armoured personnel carriers could be assembled in a field by a group of peasants, as long as they understood how a tractor worked, whether or not that is true, I can't say.

Looking at footage of some of their more modern equipment, it certainly SEEMS to be at least on a par with Western equipment (possibly with the help of stolen industrial technology and design!) but I couldn't say for certain.

Certainly, the stuff in the video clip was almost certainly technologically inferior to what we had at the time but they had quite a lot of it and I have absolutely no idea of the skills of their crews.

It never pays either to overestimate or underestimate your potential opponent and I don't think we did (not the sensible ones of us anyway).

Anyway, I'm over 20 years out of the Maritime Surveillance world so things have moved on quite a bit. (Not necessarily in the right direction either!!).
Jack Edwards

Happy Birthday to you Alan, O.M. out in the wilds of South America. Keep getting stronger,we need you here! Thanks for the armaments Info Don. TTFN Jack.
Don Armour

Yes, Happy Birthday Alan

Jack Edwards

Sorry to hear of the death of one of my teenage idols,Patty Andrews the last surviving ,member of the vocal trio The Andrews Sisters. What a group, marvelous harmonies. Bit before your time maybe Don? Alan will remember them though. Ah well to the strains of Boogy Woogie Bugle Boy,on my stereo,I'll say TTFN, Jack.  P.S. Stereo?Shows how old fashioned I am,all you with your I-pods,space phones etc!!!!!!
Don Armour

Indeed sad, she was 94, that's no age really is it?

You are quite right Jack, they were before my time, nevertheless, I have not only heard of them, I have HEARD them and I agree with you on the quality of their harmony.

In fact, I believe that, in the past, I have sent you links to You Tube clips of them.

I too had a high fidelity, stereophonic gramophone!!
alan of peru

Many t,hanks for your birthday wishes for me.
Jack Edwards

Hello there Alan O.M. great to hear from you again,to show you are still listening in. Hope you will be able to rejoin the Crazy Gang soon! TTFN Jack.
Jack Edwards

Don,will you marry me? TTFNJack.
Don Armour

Jack, I think you mistake me for a Vicar, marry you to whom?
Jack Edwards

O.K. Don.it was choice between you and Lady Ga Ga,I'm afraid, it looks as though even with the new laws, the Lady wins! What a Gay Day! TTFN Jack.   P.S.Who said that?
Don Armour

Oh, I see, the Church has ALWAYS confused me, now more than ever, they will allow GAY bishops but not WOMEN bishops on a point of so called Biblical principle, (God allegedly being a "HE")

Maybe they should try reading Leviticus 20:13 or Leviticus 18:22 which are both somewhat more explicit on the subject than the arbitrary denial of women's rights and equalities.

Mind you, what bemused me was that it was the Leity and not the Clergy that vetoed the ordination of women bishops at the vote in the General Synod.

Here's a thought, which rules would apply if a Lesbian applied to become a bishop?

Would it be permissible because she's gay or prohibited because she's a woman?

And somebody who was transgender would REALLY give them something to think about but I suppose it would depend on which direction any gender reassignment was aimed! (I bet you two don't have a clue what I'm talking about - that's OK, neither do I)

Answers, pinned to a £50 note, to the Fund For Distressed Wireless Persons, C/O The County Hotel Llandudno, to arrive not later than 22nd March 2013

Hmm, let's see if THAT generates any controversy in the Wells of Silence - ooh look, there goes that squadron of purple flying pigs again!!

Oh and the answer to your question Jack was, of course, Larry Grayson

"Two things must Ye know of the Wise Woman"

"She's wise?"

"And..."

"She's a woman?"

"Oh, you know her then?"

Who? and What series?
Jack Edwards

Well Don the quotation is by one of my favourite characters The one and only Black Adder. I seem to remember he was addressing poor Baldrick.  Didn't Leviticus play in goal for Inter Milan? You are right ,you lost me in a Transgender Jungle. I wonder what Alan made of it? TTFN Jack.  P.S. Great news that the number attending at the next Reunion remains constant. I had a feeling that most of them had been transported to another planet or maybe even Tasmania. J.
Don Armour

Quite right Jack, it's from Blackadder II and the conversation takes place between Rowan Atkinson and Michelle Dotrice when Blackadder is in search of the "Wise Woman" in order to get advice on his relationship with his servant "Bob" (in fact a girl pretending to be a boy - hmm, sounds like we're back to the previous post)

You might enjoy some of the clips referenced here;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4k1Srp-x4c

I'm really looking forward to The Reunion - as always - rail tickets are bought and securely stored in readiness!
Jack Edwards

Thanks Don,the mention of Michelle Dotrice, reminds me that she is a famous 'corpser' ie an actor who collapses into uncontrollabe giggles when shooting a scene. She giggle so much she used to wet herself! Some nice examples on 'Google(actors corpsing) TTFN Jack.
alan of peru

my computer has been attacked by a virus it seems,cannot send or receive e mails.
Jack Edwards

Ouch Alan,that can be painful,those dratted viruses! Hope you are getting better Alan O.M. even if the pace of recovery is slow. Keep you pecker up O.M. There's not many of us left. TTFN Jack.  P.S. Let us know when the man has been to knock out the virus. I was told that most viruses come from watching Porn sites!!!!!!!!!!J.
Don Armour

Sorry to hear about your problems Alan, that is why it is SO important to install reliable anti-virus software (remembering to update it daily) and a decent firewall, as well as a reliable backup system such as disk imaging so that if you DO get hit by a virus, you can go back to a previous version of your system in about half an hour.

Zone Alarm do a fairly decent, free, anti-virus and firewall combination but there are quite a few other free ones around and "ToDo" disk imaging from Easeus has saved my bacon on a number of occasions when things have gone awry, but again, there are other good free imaging programmes about.

Also, it's a good idea to split your disk up into at least two partitions, provided your hard disk has sufficient capacity (if it isn't already partitioned) then you can keep important data, music, photos etc as well as your disk image, in a separate "box" so that if your operating system gets attacked, it shouldn't cause you to lose anything important if your system needs to be rebuilt (not something you would need to do if you have a reliable disk image to fall back on).

I must admit that I keep my last three images, one on a dedicated partition on the hard disk and the older two on an external drive (they're not too expensive) and I image my system drives (I've got both XP and Windows 7 on my computer) about once a month as well as keeping copies of my data on an external drive that way, even if I had to replace the entire hard drive, I'm in a position to recover to a reasonably recent copy of my system without having to worry about catching up on too many updates.

Hope you manage to get things back to normal soon.
Jack Edwards

Oh My Gawd,I am now in a darkened room with a bottle of Captain Morgan's!!!!!TTFN Jack.
Don Armour

And a cold flannel across your forehead, I presume?
alan of peru

My technician has fixed the problemwith my computer.
Jack Edwards

Is it safe to come out? "My technician" eh Alan? There's posh! TTFN Jack.
alan of peru

Well Jack he is a technician in the local lingo.
Jack Edwards

Well Alan,I'm glad your technician managed to dismiss your virus. My head is still spinning from that old 6th former Signor Armour's hard and soft discs etc! If you want to see some awful puns take a dekko at Charlotte Honeychurch's page! If 'M' will let you. Who was 'M'? TTFN Jack.
dahdedah

Backing up and stuff

There is an external hard disk called a Click Free which when plugged into the USB port of your PC will automatically search for any document files and back them up. It does not matter where they are on the hard disk it finds them and puts them all into separate folders. The software on the hard disk looks for files ending in .jpg, .doc .xls and many others.
http://www.clickfree.com/product_grouping_matrix/matrix_view/id/C6D
Very simple to use - plug in and it works. Important to note this only saves the doc files and is not a complete system recovery. It does not take a full copy of your PC, so you cannot restore the whole PC - just the docs. I use a click free dongle (£15) which contains the same software but is connected between my USB and my own external hard drive. (In my case the external hard drive is actually an icy box doc with 2 plug in ESATA hard drives from past PC's.) Like Don My operating system is Windows 7 Ultimate Pro which includes a virtual copy of XP for older programs. Win 7 allows you to make an image copy of your hard disk and an emergency recovery disk which will restore the whole computer - not just the docs. I use both because a system recovery is no use if your computer fails totally and you have to switch to a new computer which is unlikely to have the same specifications as the old one. A separate doc bu is good. So be safe and sure and take a image and a doc backup! p.s. Kaspersky internet Security works for me as virus program and firewall. I believe Jack has a red bucket full of sand and first aid kit by his PC .. but it could all be lies? Surprised))
Oh the new version of Click Free does the system files and software as well and some other clever stuff like repair.
Don Armour

There are lots of different ways of achieving a secure result.

I like "ToDo" disk imager mainy because I've used it since XP days, so I'm familiar with it and also, I have the recovery system set up on a memory stick so that I can use it with a netbook.

But I only use that for the two system drives "C" and "I", documents, music, photos, videos and downloads, I just copy straight across to one (or more) of my external hard drives, usually onto a 1Tb, USB powered portable drive, though I have accumulated others over the years.

Nevertheless, keeping comprehensive backups is a MUST, there's an old saying "there are two types of computer user, those who regularly back up their systems and those who wish they had" - VERY true.

I reckon, by now, Jack has gone into therapy!
!
Jack Edwards

Who let these boffins onto a God fearing thicko site? TTFN,Baffled Jack.
dahdedah

The one for you

Jack, I reckon Click Free is the one for you. It really is just plug it into USB port and away it goes. At least then you will not loose any pics or you .pst that contains all your email addys.

Ok Don, I think now is a good time to invest in Kleenex tissues ...as Jack is going to get a nose bleed now...
Don Armour

Click Free sounds good Dah, however, ToDo, Paragon and Macrium Reflect are all FREE (or, at least, there are very creditable free versions) as oppose to Click Free which is the best part of £80.

OK, they're not "fire and forget" but to gentlemen of a certain age, cost is a factor, besides, decent anti-virus (and I wouldn't knock Kaspersky at all), together with an effective firewall are STILL essential and there are some excellent freebies out there.

If Jack find our atmosphere somewhat rarefied, the answer is to take deep breaths (without hyperventilating) or, alternatively retire to a quiet place with a bottle of Captain Morgan's Very Happy  Very Happy
dahdedah

Too right

Yep - sure not cheap Don. One of my re incarnations was as IT Help Desk Manager and the first question was always 'have you got a recent backup?' Needless to say that more often than not they did not have one. (The rule was 5 bu's a week - Mon-Thur and then a Friday 1, so backups on DAT's could be reused the following week). So once their system was sorted out they could spend days and weeks bringing the data up to date. As you so rightly say back it up, back it up, back it up! The dongle was only £15 ...but not easy to find now. I guess they realised that these sell well when compared to the cost of their HD version and withdrew them(?). Take your point about cost but sometimes we have to weigh up convenience against cost. As you say fire and forget systems are good if you are not sure of the procedure. I think the test of a good virus program is how often it updates itself. A virus travels a long way in just an hour or so. Kaspersky works form me because my internet bank gives me a discount for using it. Changing the subject Here is a useful little site http://www.whatsmypass.com/techtools-3-0 which has some useful tools for pen drives and auto updates when you plug in.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_f8_AYS3B64


Perhaps Jack could try the brown paper bag as well? No not over the head to breath into Surprised))

p.s. click free may now be known as click transformer cable
Don Armour

See Jack, I managed to lure Dah out of his hidey hole with some techno-babble †Very HappyVery Happy

Dah, the lessons are either well learned or hard learned.

In one of my incarnations I was System Manager on a £13.5 MILLION †computer system and we used to keep a Grandfather, Father, Son backup system (i.e. three full backups of varying but progressive ages - backups done once a week onto a separate disk - the disks were then recycled in order) then daily incremental backups in between onto tape (this WAS the 80s!).

During one exercise, the directing staff took out our main disk and told us to demonstrate our recovery process.

We did and got the system back to within 15 minutes of the simulated "crash", in fact, the only work that was lost and had to be repeated was that which was open and being worked on at the time of the "crash" - the recovery took about 45 minutes.

They were suitably impressed!! (To be fair we were taking more frequent tape backups than once a day, after all, it was meant to be a wartime scenario)
Jack Edwards

Hello,Don,Hello Dah,if you're wondering where I are.
Here I am in sunny Wirral,your threads have left me sweating like a squirrel.
I understand,'bout one percent of what you've written,
but by the P.C. bug I've not been bitten.
So I've signed off, and closed it down, and yes siree,
that is the last you pair will hear from me.
Adios and fond goodbyes,as I sit here with tears in my eyes.
I'm wrapping my Dell in paper thin and with my printer  in the bin!
Just a minute,Google splutters on my screen,chrome and all the systems glow bright green.
Things are really getting better,Don and Dah,kindly disregard this letter!!!!!!!
TTFN Jack.  P.S. I think dogs might have a bit more to do with Dah coming out of hibernation than your  technical talk!
Don Armour

Ouch, Alan Sherman must be turning in his grave.

Surely, "dogs" was in the other thread? Besides, it takes more than just bait to LAND a fish!!

Stiil, the results speak for themselves.
dahdedah

Big Brother?

Arh but dogs or no dogs you must remember I am always dropping in observing to make sure you guys are behaving yourselves.

Don: Back in the Coms days, (Life 2), there was a rumour that the computer system we fed into was originally designed to count cans of baked beans! I rather suspect it was given the amount of human intervention it required. Most of it is in a museum now .. keep meaning to drop in one day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTb6Og1H6eo
Jack Edwards

O.K. I've emerged from the darkened room with the empty Capt.Morgan's bottle Is it safe from all that guffle about' backing up' What a 'Gay Day' it is. If my infernal machine blows up it wouldn't be a tragedy,what do I want to save? It would get rid of all you shower always insulting me about my P.C. knowledge,my sleeping times etc. A fascinating Prog. on BBC1 Don,the story of Eddie Izzard's search for his earliest ancestors by DNA. The boffins claim we ARE ALL descended from one woman dillions of years ago in darkest Africa. They have decided to call her 'Eve' now where have I heard that name before? Perhaps Don our resident Oracle can enlighten me as to where her parents came from? Long may your lum reek! It can't be 'lum' can it? O.K. I'm off back to the darkened room clutching a new bottle, before the yellow van arrives! TTFN Jack.  P.S. for the benefit of Dah and other youngsters. The yellow van sometimes white was supposed to come to transport you to the nearest lunatic asylum. Not P.C. I know,what are they called now?   O.K. O.K. I won't come out for some time! Goodbye cruel World.
alan of peru

Pray what is the meaning of "may your lum reek"
dahdedah

Reek On !

Alan - it's something to do with Jacks digestive problem .. Shh dont tell anyone!
Don Armour

Ah now, as a Viet Jock, I can answer this one.

"Lang" is "long", a "lum" is a chimney and to "reek", is to smoke, so the translation of "lang may your lum reek" runs " long may your chimney smoke" in other words "long may you have fuel for your fire and warmth in your home"

QED (NO, that's a Latin abreviation NOT a "Q" code!!)
alan of peru

Actually Don I surmised it correctly
Don Armour

So you †did Alan, well done.

You posed the question, I provided AN answer! and if it  confirmed your understanding then much to the good!
Jack Edwards

Well Alan O.M. in answer to your e-mail to Don and myself regarding the downgrading  of the U.K.'s credit rating. The pundits opinion here is that it won't make a great deal of difference to our position in World's finance.  They point out that previous down gradings to the U.S.A. and other European Countries has resulted in a upturn in their fortunes.  It is however a smack in the eye for George Osborne and the Labour Party are not slow to point this out. Of course their hands are clean regarding the actions that got us into this mess! Come back here to the Forum Alan we miss your pithy comments! Look the word up. It doesn't mean THAT! No doubt our Oracle Don will have some comments on the down grade. TTFN Jack.
Don Armour

I have no real comment to make on the credit rating, I think everyone (apart from that smug git Ed Balls) is pretty much in agreement, financially it is almost irrelevant but politically it's a bit of a slap, nothing more

Compared to the problems of Greece, Portugal, Spain, Italy and Ireland, it's a mere bagatelle

When you consider that Liam Byrne, the outgoing Labour Chief Secretary to the Treasury left a note for his successor David Laws saying "I'm afraid to tell you there's no money left", even though he later insisted that it was a private joke, (that tells you all you need to know about his attitude and grasp on reality!) it's not so much the pot calling the kettle black, it's the pot calling another pot a pot.

Personally, I don't trust any of them, including those who set these so called "credit ratings".
alan of peru

I would inform you politely that my comments are not full of pith, nor like the white inner skin of the orange,even if fruity sometimes.
alan of peru

The font size which you receive from me is fixed, I do click on large and huge but to no avail, my computer I am certain is getting back at me after years of spewing out irrelevancies !
Don Armour

Not sure if you're already doing it this way Alan but what you need to do is to type your post first (normal size) THEN select it all, THEN change it to the font size you want, pre-selecting the font size doesn't do anything.

If you're already doing that then, I guess you're right, your computer hates you!!
Jack Edwards

Yeah,yeah,Don,please remember you are dealing with 'thickoes' in my case anyway! How do you select it all? Then how do you change the size?  By the way are you on Google chrome? Jack.
Don Armour

It's really not that difficult Jack, I'll put together a blow by blow guide to how to do it.

On another topic, it's great to see that AT LAST those, or at least those still alive, who served in the Arctic convoys are to get their own medal - ABOUT TIME TOO!
Jack Edwards

GWYL DEWI SANT HAPUS or A HAPPY ST.DAVID'S DAY TO YOU ALL!!!!TTFN Jack.
Don Armour

Nid da lle gellir gwell - translate!
alan of peru

Where there is a will there is a way !!!!!
Jack Edwards

Glenys,she who must be obeyed, says that loosely it means,'You can't do better'  Where did you dig that up from Armour???? TTFN Jack.
Don Armour

OK, confession time, it was the motto of my old Grammar School and, I was given to understand FROM DAY ONE AND NEVER TO BE FORGOTTEN ON PAIN OF DETENTION (or worse) that it meant;

"Nothing is good where better is possible".

Now, like most mottoes, the literal, word by word translation does not quite equate to the sentiment of the motto, as is the case with translating from Latin (except, perhaps for the Royal Artillery motto "Ubique", the only possible translation is "Everywhere"!!)

Nevertheless, it got you both thinking, (even if it was "where the hell did he dig that up from?") so the effort was not entirely wasted!! !! Very HappyVery Happy
Jack Edwards

Well ,Armour Minor, I wouldn't like to be in your shoes,come March 22nd next!!!! That is if the Welsh curses coming from the kitchen mean anything! TTFN Jack.
Jack Edwards

Please  disregard the new thread containing the same stuff as this! This is my poser for the weekend....Why did a man in his pyjamas,sit astride a brown bottle in the 'oggin'? What was he trying to prevent? TTFN Jack.
alan of peru

BOVRIL SICKNESS !
charlotte honychurch

Theres no l arm a in that.........
why do all the dates default to 080113   are we in some sort of male time warp???????that In have invaded?????
charlotte honychurch

Embarassed
Jack Edwards

Well done Alan O.M. Of course Bovril prevents that sinking feeling. Charlotte,after your last brief message,I'm getting a bit worried about you! It's funny any one coming on this Forum goes a bit doolally as we are! TTFN Jack.
Jack Edwards

Sorry Charlotte,just seen your 1.09am message on your page! perfectly lucid. Now I wonder what happened between then and 1.29am when you posted on this page,those two funny messages? What are you doing up at that unearthly hour anyway?  Get to bed earlier young lady! TTFN Jack.
Jack Edwards

Greetings amigos,here follows my poser for the week. Oi! I heard that. I know it's daft but if it means keeping the Forum alive for another week,so be it!  What product is it? A couple of ragged clothed urchins are using their olfactory organs to good effect!  Hey,what about all this dognapping in Charlotte and Dahs's areas? Strange in my area it's cats that are being stolen. No I'm being serious Alan,so no 'catnapping' puns please! Lots of notices on lamp posts offering quite large rewards for the return of the pets.
Don Armour

AAAH, BISTO!!
Jack Edwards

Alan rang me this morning from Peru. Unfortunately Clarita was rushed into hospital yesterday with acute appendicitis. She has had her Op and Alan was going in to see her today. I asked him to pass on our best wishes to her. Alan is feeling  better and hopes to be in touch with us in a few days. TTFN Jack.
dahdedah

Wishes

Thanks for keeping us updated Jack. Best wishes for a speedy solution and  recovery from us.
Don Armour

Amen to all of that, no more that I can say.
alan of peru

Thanks chaps !
Jack Edwards

Pray tell me. Who's that mouthy sod Edwards,the name I see on the far right of the screen every time I tune in?  There is a way to keep him off that position you know? Answers on a postcard please! Or even on this Forum! Then again porkers might take to the air. TTFN Jack.  P.S.Porkers? I won't BOAR you with a translation. I never SAUSAGE a thing. GAMMON on now it's not that bad. Come on CHOP CHOP.  J.

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